heaven and hell

dear diary,

if i stared at the stars hard enuf, will the stardust sprinkle upon me and make me shine?

special thanks to the wind~ for blowing away the blues...

thanks to mr bionic eyes( i still dono ur name) for seeing me when i was invisible

thanks to meow meow, though i dislike cats, u looked kinda cute cuz u seem to sense my emotions

where have all the stars gone tonight?

*

why raise me up to the skies just to push me down from the clouds...

morn had been such delight with nice ppl ard.
1st rp was so chop chop and easy. and i was extraordinary. ha.
wad a parody. extra-ordinary.
2nd rp was so enjoyable. music is the best. 1 hr simply flew past.
lunch with zhu and yokey was cherry on top of the cake.
*
which is worse?

a) be in the midst of a whole buncha ppl but u seem to be made of glass.
b) be trapped in a clastrophobic condition, everywhere is dark and gloomy

song playing now:
guang liang-teng ni de ze ren.
zai zhe ge da da de shi jie li, hui you she meh ren hui you teng wo de ze ren neh?( damn, i want a chinese software)

new lao gong- yoga!

感谢我不可以住进你的眼睛 所以才能拥抱你的背影 有再多的遗憾用来牢牢记住 不完美的所有美丽 感谢我不可以拥抱你的背影 所以才能变成你的背影 躲在安静角落不用你回头看 不用珍惜
躲在安静角落如果你回头看 不用在意
awwww...

you are my eyes...

如果我能看得见
就能轻易的分辨白天黑夜
就能准确的在人群中
牵住你的手
如果我能看得见
就能驾车带你到处遨游
就能惊喜的从背后
给你一个拥抱
如果我能看得见
生命也许完全不同
可能我想要的我喜欢的我爱的
都不一样
眼前的黑不是黑
你说的白是什么白
人们说的天空蓝
是我记忆中那团白云背后的蓝天
我望向你的脸
却只能看见一片虚无
是不是上帝在我眼前遮住了帘
忘了掀开
你是我的眼
带我领略四季的变换
你是我的眼
带我穿越拥挤的人潮
你是我的眼
带我阅读浩瀚的书海
因为你是我的眼
让我看见这世界...

deeply superficial

dear diary,

i feel like an oxymoron. haha, maybe this should be a paradox instead. they are interchangable and often mixed up. Is it an unmixable mix?

i tink im going to be reduced to a bundle of nerves soon...

thoughts for the day

dear diary,

morning hardened upon the wall this morn when i receive that sms.

"may i know if u still want to come for trgs"

innocent and simple as it sound, it triggered a whirlwind of emotion in me, thoughts ran amok in my mind as though a monster had just arrived in the land.

its qt sad that on one hand u are trying to juggle all the sports and meetings, and on the other hand, time seems to be so sparse and just flies past. den comes the qn, to stay or to quit. grrr....

*
on laundry:
i tink guys should really put more soap in their laundry. this is not the first time i open the washer or dryer and an odour( instead of fresh, pleasant scent) oozed out. ewWWww. and how amazing to see wad things they stuff in the laundry, perhaps they could throw in the soccer boots as well.

Rp today was really fun, the fun was doubled cuz i had some prior info to the 2nd part of the experiment. ( courtesy of zhu) we had this survey on dating and interpersonal studies. basically they show a pic of a guy and ask qn like how interested u are in him, will u like him as ur bf, would u feel comfortable with him etc den the 2nd part was u would be interacting with him. (den he would conviniently vanish due to unforeseen circumstances) haha, so i guess it took away the "butterflies in my stomach" that i was supposed to feel. ha!) and it made me complete the experiment in a diff light la. like u alr know wad is happening...haha. anw, i mangae to catch a glimpse of all the other "candidates" on other terminals.

To my surprise, they were all different faces. Initially i tot it would be the same pic on all the 6 terminals. It turns out to be a pattern of descending attractiveness from the left most to the right most terminal. that late girl got the most handsome one. i got a zhuai looking guy(smug, hai y not Shuai) annoying. hong got a toot toot innocent looking guy, haha, the last 2 girls... i feel sorry for them. whoops, im so evil!!!! bad gal. tsk tsk

its qt fun to do all these experiments!!! haha.

den had lunch with yokey and zhu, wah, so long nv have lunch with yokey le! haha, she got a new doggy! a 3 yr old golden retriever! can open pet shop le la. i wanna go her house again and play mahjong and just nua tgt.... ah! and zhu is deliberating on Rag... hope she can make up her mind soon. i know the feeling of being undecided, not very nice. like at the back of your mind u know theres sth that u need to worry abt, unsettled.

later have krv stuff den got welfare den got trg. haha. im a da sheng yi ren man. cant wait for sat to come!!! i miss my home sweet home! see momo in her new hairstyle! today she getting back O level result. good luck to mei. hope she gets good grades!

haha, fogging time now! the view outside my closed windows can be qt amazing - its as if white clouds was all ard and momentarily my entire room seems to light up. but its only for that few seconds. den its gone with the wind~

suffocated

dear diary,

i am in need of air :(

ah... the sweet taste of victory!

dear diary,

im really glad that i attended the floorball carnival today! yipee we won champs! it was really exciting and our team really did well. the game started off with a bang when we trashed sheares hal 8-1 and it wrapped off really nicely with the grand finale with raffles 8-0. that wonderful figure of 8 earned us a mere draw with our competitor temasek hall but luckily we had many shooting machines and yay, we shot more goals than th. and that made us the rightful CHAMPIONS!whee~

really happy for sher,amie and sharon cuz they got to play and they did wonderfully! amie even shot in a goal that even an ivp player wouldn't have been able to do so! *applauses* really proud of her cuz she really improve ALOT! next year, i shall also nu li and aim to shoot in many goals too!!!

all these joy wouldn't have been possible w/0 DUNG & CHERRY who have lovingly taken care of me yest. it was really enjoyable having them being my part time mummy and sister, cooking for me and washing the dishes and chit chatting tgt. felt so loved. =)

i tot it was really sweet and nice of brenda during the handball meeting. she actually had a mini ceremony to give out our jerseys and lit some strawberry scented candles to represent our team. hmm, my lousy expression in words is lacking in espressing the symbolic meaning and amount of emotions that it evokes... grrr. tink brenda is really a super nice captain, i think if it wasn't for her and the nice ppl, i tink i would have quit long ago.haha. looking fwd to tmr's match, hope it the vibes would be similar to that of fb's. and im secretly hoping i wont be called on court. heh.

nostalgia

dear thomas hardy and arun. roy,

i simply love your work of genius. this is where words can create such impact in ones heart.
~
I look into my glass
And view my wasting skin
and say 'would god if' came to pass
my heart had shrunk as thin

For then, I, distrest
By hearts grown cold to me
Could lonely wait my endless rest
with equanimity

But Time, to make me grieve
Part steals, lets part abide
And shakes this fragile frame at eve
With throbings of noontide

~

Childlike, I danced in a dream
Blessings emblazoned that day
Everything glowed with a gleam
Yet we were looking away!

~

Enough. As yet disquiet clings
About us. Rest Shall we.

~

An aged thrush, frail, gaunt, and small
In blast-beruffled plume
Had chosen thus to fling his soul
upon the growing gloom
~
For the stars close their shutters and the dawn whitens hazily
~
However, for practical purposes,
in a hopelessly practical world...
~
centuries telescoped into one evanescent moment
~
in his abject defeat lies his supreme triumph....

choked

its amazing how certain words that come at the right moment tugs at your heartstrings and chokes u up from inside....

betrayal

雨
不停落下来
花
怎么都不开
尽管我细心灌溉
你说不爱就不爱
我一个人
欣赏悲哀

爱 只剩下无奈 我 一直不愿再去猜 钢琴上黑键之间 永远都夹着空白 缺了一块 就不精采 紧紧相依的心如何 say goodbye 你比我清楚还要我说明白 爱太深会让人疯狂的勇敢 我用背叛自己 完成你的期盼 把手放开不问一句 当作最后一次对你的溺爱 冷冷清清淡淡今后都不管 只要你能愉快

master of none

dear diary,

i feel pretty sad that im in like 4 sports but i've managed to get into none of the main teams. its qt sian to go to endless trgs but to the eye of each of the captains u are only there to pick up the balls or mayb they dun even notice ur presence. or even worse, when u are there the whole trg session just slows down because of ur retarted actions. hai, qt sad...

like today, ho sey la, all my 4 trgs are in full blast, but UNfortunately i am down with sickness and hence i am not fit for exercise. i dono to laugh or cry.... fb finals is this coming sunday ... am i supposed to be a vase there? hai. hb this mon, i got lecture lei. haha.

aiya, i just go tabao food for them first ba... off to do welfare duty le.

signing off,
the coughing and sneezing machine with 4 sports and 3 comms.

sick

dear diary,

im sick! boo huhu.

tmr is first day of sch le and im sick.

wad a way to start off!

anw, i tink my nose is going to aggravate deforestation.

and my intestines are about to be coughed out.

i hate being sick!

btw, momo so cute la, she sobbed and tell me not to fall sick, as if i were dying! lol. ai si meimei le la. so nice of her, i tink shes a angel :)

ps, im so black i look like a blangla and oorkeling. grrrr. stupid sunblock is useless

the estacy of defiance

dear diary,

the title says it all.

sometimes its just great to just pack up your luggauge and scott off to a faraway island, leaving everything behind.

finish watching coffee prince le, feeling abit sad cuz i cant live in a fairytale anymore... wish my life was a drama serial too... haha, mayb i should go part time at a cafe too eh. kekeke.

i miss my family so much, and mummy's home cooked food. cant wait for cny to come too. hee.

btw, i think im a lucky gal, got all my mods that i bid for and all for 1 point! yipee, tink im loaded with points. heh. esp mods like psychology and cnm that costs so much last sem! now only 1 point. wahaha, zhen shi zhuan dao le! :)

on a side note also, im really glad to find more artsy movie frenz namely hong and peggy. had a fun time discussing abt darjeeling with them! wad a amazing experience!

darjeeling darlings

dear diary,

the darjeeling ltd. :))) qing and hong

fb :

dinner :)

star gazing therapy:))) it was so beautiful

clara is back :))

just had my star gazing therapy at e blk rooftop. haha. its kinda amazing this mood im in..
i nv knew that being all alone with nature can be so therapeutic
i nv knew that things can be so coincidental (met u in the lift)
i nv knew that it feels so nice to be asked out for dinner
i nv knew how it feels to be hugged by a loved one
i nv knew how it feels to yearn for the one that loves u more than u love him

i nv knew how a drama can infiltrate and influence your life and emotions
darjeeling with qing and hong was really wonderful. love these kinda movies :)

i guess silence can be my friend afterall

swings

dear diary,
im a pendulum.

do u wanna be a small fish in a big tank or a big fish in a small tank?

its just a matter of perspective...

burned.nuaed

BBB

dear diary,
im a Busy Bumble Bee...

for the past few weeks my time is so packed with sports its pretty overwhelming. even i am pretty shocked that i can tahan all these physical trgs.. recalling that horror day when i had 4 trgs in a row* shudders* really make me qt proud tho. haha, im still alive!!!!

this week not so shiong, max is 3 trgs but for more than 2 days. haiyo, im not like superwoman lei, and i dun tink its gonna make me slim down cuz i gain muscles and also get hungry more easily. neh mind, most impt is that i enjoy myself which i can say i do. i feel like time pass very quickly and is pretty well spent, pretty fruitful la. if not for hall, i tink my life would be pretty boring and VERY unhealthy. haha. siao arh, at home so comfy want me wake up so early and exercise?! keke

anw, this morn got vball trg, i played with eunice, she very cute. hair like china doll lidat, shes very nice:)haha, it was pretty fun when we tried to hit 20x consecutively to each other and YES LA! we did it! YIPEE! den played tgt with val and leti, wah they very lihai lei, like the ball fly where they also can catch de. so pro! i wanna be like them too!

den i spent some time with xiying lunch at engine den we go central lib for cors and we saw CHRISTOPHER LEE and OU XUAN. chris very SHUAI! haha, bt ou xuan .... erm, she looks better on tv, haha. So thankful got xiying ard. Find her very nice, like got no airs and very friendly also. heh, i also found out today that shes year 1! haha, paiseh lei, always tot she was a senior cuz she so tall ma... den so pro also.... haha. compliment la.

i told her that i like frenly vball game like can "pass the ball to each other" during the warm up exercise lidat and not really the competition type where the aim is to " pass the ball to the floor". im glad we share the same sentiments :) haha. for me i like to play sports to enjoy the game and company, not so much for the winning part. hmm, i realize its really more of the company, take for eg handball, i really gong abt the game but ppl like brenda and teh susu and grace and chuan and audrey really are great company! today i also tink that the vball girls are very nice. hee.

on a side note, i kinda enjoy the static hold aka superman drill that handball trgs has at the end. haha, abit zi nue sia, but it gives a sense of satisfaction that i manage to give my best effort for the gruelling 3 mins of hold. swee la! sense of accomplishment sia! whahaha.

den today i learnt sth from xiying, she enlightened me that we should play our best for ourselves and not for the praise of the coach. yep, this i applied during the fb trg. tho stupid baolai nv mention me (again), im glad that i did do some stuff that i tink aided the game play. aiya, even if dun have i did enjoy the game la. hee. naturally i guess everyone likes to be encouraged and praised, no wonder i like small stef so much cuz shes really very encouraging and is not stingy with her compliments and always tries to up the spirit.

VBALL steamboat was great! really enjoy the food. feel very loved cuz food just came flying to us. hee. feel pretty family family lidat.

oya, b4 that, today during fb trg, it was SUPER distracting cuz of steppers. they;re really qt interesting to watch, haha, esp the petrified gal.(lol) and the calling. haha, and weijing dyed his hair red, gong xi fa cai! hohoho

wah, so fast 1 plus le, im aching all over alr.. better catch on my beauty sleep le. keke. tata!

the suddenly inspired picasso

dear diary,

sat morn had touch trg den went out with mab and zhu to vivo.
b4 that went to zhu room to wait for mab. end up zzzing while listening to music. haha.
heh, zhu bot some interesting stuff which i nv tot she would buy, buden
again ppl slim slim can carry it off la.
we ate at thai express, woah, the 2 of them ordered yellow and green curry den their face ended up like the latter. keke, clever me ordered the clear tom yum soup so still okie. so funny la, eat until so gan kor...heh. next time we should just still to our lao di fang, WARAKU! i miss the cold udon and tempura! hee.
den we went haagen daaz to eat ice cream. hee. shall leave the rest of the story to the pics.

my yummy cookie crumble at the top had lotsa whipped cream which is not qt to my liking so i dug it out...hehehehe.

den i had some inspiration...

looks like some modern art piece, see 3 ppl at the middle?

lemme intro u to mr crab crab

last but not least this is mr spidey.

ting is happy!

dear diary,
today is a good day for me! me happy happy! :)

small is beautiful.

thankew
xiying and brenda(sports)
val (cup noodles)
hong( satay! yum yum)
zhu and mab (fs)
for making my day!

sorts :)

hall alone

dear diary,

i tink im a really lucky girl. a lucky girl that is afraid of loneliness, but thankfully i am pleasantly surprised by familiar faces popping out of the blue. somehow they brighten my day:)

like when i come back on sunday nite, met gerald at the vivo busstop and saw jean on the bus. buden jean commented that gerald not very gentlemanly which i totally agree. haha.

den today when coming back at clementi busstop i saw jia minh and laura, hah, mini trabeus gathering eh. felt very comfortable talking to laura:)

i dread coming back to hall alone. ok mayb the tone is abit too over, but well, i dun exactly yearn to come back. top reason is bcuz of trainings. hai, i feel qt sian with so many trainings, esp those that i suck at. like handball. hai, feel like a moron and idiot... i dun wan to pull down the team and impede their improvement.

its like im the weakest link and quoting our tj rugby coach last time,
"the team is only as strong as the weakest link"
shit la, i hate being the lousiest.

this applies to studies as well. but well, this time im contented that abt my grades. not the top, not the bottom. just the middle. haha.
abit like gost, not death, just the end of living.

yay, val2 is back in hall! sot wing is half full le. haha. so long nv see hong le..miss her man, but no worries la, school going to reopen le. eeks.haha...

haha, mayb this is a sign, that coming back to hall isn't such a dreadful thing afterall and that ... its a small world afterall...and ...always look on the bright side of life:)

later got fb friendly with sheares, im looking fwd.
surprisingly fb is my fav sport for now... hehe.
gambatte!

Happy New Year, pull ur ear!

Dear diary,

i love shopping with ppl like yuny and min:)
yuny and i are the bugis st queen la.
so happy that yuny bot me the sweet pinky thingy from japan! thankew!

orchard with min.
met shuxian and ethel (with a mysterious guy) keke.
yay, our taste very similar, we love cute cute clothes! very enjoyable shopping with her. dinner @ ding tai feng was yummy! heh, pai seh ah, i deprive mr. w of his first time dinner @dtf with u lei...keke.*notes on a scandal*

that day momo and f3(no clara boo) went to bugis too. haha, lynn tan's carlo rino that looks like billabong costs freaking $100 bucks. alamak. must make lynn tan change her fashion style la. haha.

topic of the new year eve: awkward silence vs comfortable silence.