msn

have anyone one of u tried

1. going online specially to wait for that particular person to appear online, hoping that an orange bar will start blinking and u 2 will engage in a wonderful conversation

2. visiting a particular person's blog so obsessively so that u can find out what he/she is thinking

3.checking out facebook for updates to find out abt that particular person

ah, technology kills.
-
on FRIENDS>

hello bye bye.
what faculty are u from?
which secondary school/jc were u from?
pls do this. pls do that.

such fleeting moments.
(note to self: enjoy the moment, but pls dont expect it to last)
our temporary bond/closeness is like a ndp display of fireworks.
geebaboom, waaa, waaaa,
and then its gone.

陪伴你走过漫漫人生的会有谁?

what is your ambition?

when i was in primary school, when aiyoyo and 阳光下日营 was popular, it used to be

TEACHER

when i was in secondary school, when 妙手仁心 and some lawyer show was popular, it used to be

DOCTOR and LAWYER

when i was in junior college, when thomas hardy, shakespeare and arundathi roy came into my life,i wanted to be

POET/WRITER

when i was in nus, everyone(almost) told me that FASS students would end up a
TEACHER

i didn't know what i want to be. so when my ma told me she wants me to take after my successful aunt as a
PROPERTY AGENT

i just nodded like a docile child.

but TODAY, a fellow prop agent just told me that its gonna be a dog eat dog world, lonely and competitive, u want the money, u've gotta be hard working and shrwed. need to be proactive and OTOT. :S

is this worst than 9-5?

DAMNIT.

can i just be a mountain guide?
actually i wanna be a photographer/designer/biz woman.

actually, i just wanna be a
RICH TAI TAI.

alternatively,

can money just drop down from the sky?
-
recently, a friend's heart got broken. i sincerely hope that it will heal soon.
quote:

But then again.
It’s like one thousand paper cuts,
soaked in vinegar.
Like the battles with yourself,
that leave you insecure.
It’s all
just a numbing charade
Until the day you finally wake up,
and you’re not
afraid.

the evil winnie the pooh is back. curtains is gone, here comes motorbike vroom vroom. arbish.hahahehehahaho.

blue eyes

greenday-revisited

qing: "stop capitalising your life on quotes":)

qing and i, one sees people, the other sees cutesy stuff, we never agree on fashion, we scold each other, we seem to be the most polarised individuals on earth, but somehow, with a little magic dust, our friendship blossomed:)

thanks for the treat, qing:)

没有你的天空，全都是寂寞
qing, i believe one day u will receive that book that first caught our eyes:) perhaps one that is specially catered for u.

谢谢你, 亲爱的卿卿:D

gam sia hamida!

the bittersweet candy

LOLLIPOP- :D :) :S :( :_(
teeseow/肚量/teasing/胖胖糖

as i type this out, i am pretty amused at how much emotions a seemingly insignifant thing can stir up within me.ha.
SERIOUSLY I THINK I NEED SOMEONE TO SLAP AND SCOLD ME SAYING THAT I THINK TOO FUCKING MUCH.
mayb MrJ was right, my mentality is of age 14. but then there is another MrJ saying im mature. haha,so wth am i? im confused.someone enlighten me? please?? i would really love to hear from you. wahaha

(on a stark contrast)*sprinkles magic dust*

ANW,YAYS
1. i am so glad i joined Rovers and i think i will never ever regret it.
nature always played a major role, but this time round, the humane side reached to my heart a teeny weeny bit more.

2.without my beloved doraemon fan, a symbollic removal of naivety and protection, i somehow gained a little insight about the world of the opposite sex. its really amazing to hear the male pov. i learnt a little more the the male world and surprisingly at the same time i learnt a little more about myself too.

3. cheap thrill: my hp beeped non stop when i charged it. sms from people who cared abt me. made me feel wanted and loved. there was one which made my heart skip a beat. hah, though i suspect it was a mass-sms.

4. i helped honghong/angang, like doraemon, 我伸出援手 to help them. 施比受更有福。the happiest part was the reciprocation.( they specially bought sweets in return) awwww.

sidetracking a little, results were released today but apparently the adrenaline for this only lasted for mayb like one minute.im just really glad that theres no Cs or tapaos considering what a turmulous semester this has been. and my Sexuality module was my best module. hah, i deserve a pat on the back. wait a minute, mayb i dont, cuz my overall deproved. but owells, 随缘吧！hahaha.

i really enjoyed the first night where we saw shooting stars together.( it was a spontaneous decision to go up to the lelaki (male loo) with the guys, since i wasn't sleepy and wanted to just take a stroll) and i was absoluted delighted to see the entire night sky filled with stars:DDD our base camp was covered by a thick canopy so stars were out of sight. and well, i would say that stars were great but i enjoyed the chat more:) what made me even happier was facebook wall post annoucing "YewJ saw shooting stars at Gunung Ledang with two good friends =)" . while he declared he took on his missing matrical role(auntie), i inferred that in my case i took on my missing fatherly role(garang).

speaking of garang, im a little apprehensive.
GARANG
Malay for 'fierce' or "powerful". Can mean "impulsive", "courageous", "foolhardy".

the million dollar question:
If a girl is "garang", is it good or bad? link it with the family influence (is it to replace a missing or continue an existing patriachal figure?) and social consequence( what will boys think of it? does it repel or attract them?). does it invert the normative gender role? discuss.

"we are all just breakable boys and girls"

p.s : clarafu i miss u. are u dead or alive?

note to self: this entry is sibei luan but who cares. laoniang hua hee deo ho!( hokkien slang is influenced by president and super mario)

wa ai kun liao. byebye!

qingqing, i tink u will be bombarded with my sharing tmr. hoho. apologies in advance:p

energy bar

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.”
—
Louise Erdrich

-
“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”
-
“ We are like angels with just one wing.
We can only fly by embracing each other"
-
i would like to thank C for holding my hand through that dark walk and telling me that u are a silent reader too. u really really made me smile and feel really happy and safe :)

indefinitely

living my life as vibrantly as i can.

before everything eventually winds up in black and white.

the sunset was a unexpected surprise as we walked out of the shopping mall. i lost the little pouch which yokey gave me:( it dropped out my bag when i was taking photos.(adieus to keys and coins)

“Love the ones you can.

Touch the ones you can reach.

Let the others go.”

i wish i could live in the cinema forever.(my own version of heroin)

angels and demons.( religion is flawed because men is flawed)(shakespeare and chaucer were radicals)

the notebook. (im just a hopeless romantic)

trainspotting (sucking all the fucking fresh air in the fucking world won't solve the fucking problem)

i've thrown out the tile and subjected myself to a game in which i will never win.

should i go for the bcl trek? i really really wanna go but i promised mum only one trek but alr gg for 3:((( why tempt me with the A+++ grade waterfall and the fact that we're sleeping beside it. ahHhh

falling slowly

if i have a son in the future,
i hope he can be a Pilot and a Pianist.
Live.Love and Laugh Passionately

Central Station/ Central do Brasil (1998)
I really enjoyed this movie.
Its been a long time since I watched such a wonderful movie.
It really marvellous seeing the 2 leads being so direct and curt to each other because everyone seems to be lying to each other in real life.
I love the fact that the female lead is a bitter and jaded old woman.
I love that the boy is so rude and blunt to admit that she hates her and tinks shes a bad person.
I love that the boy has this fixed idea that everyone should have a family, a companion.
I love it when she put on lipstick.
I love it when he touched her hair.
I love it when she tried to shake him away but failed.
I love it when he wanted to buy a dress for her and complemented her.
I love it that he cruelly pointed out that she is ugly.
I love it when she mustered her courage and cupped his hands.
I love her for being evil and do the wrong things.(this is called the antinomian pleasure.thrill)
I love her for tearing up the letters.
I love her bitterness.I love his rudeness.
I especially love the part when she took his hand, leading him down..
But actually you can see that the boy was walkng down the slope very easily. It was actually her who depended on him.
I like the imagery, the songs, the juxtaposition and their chemistry is really very very good.

I like that I can weep to this movie.
*
heres a nice song (movie is soso only, not as artistically inclined or tear jerking as Central Station, songs were great tho)

Falling Slowly from the movie Once.

brutal but brilliant

“ I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."Kate Winslet, The Holiday.

this is for those who are forgotten. like me.

"Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! ... These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms."

now i cant even complain to u?

there is a love shape hole on the leaf.

picture credit to YewJ.

When i was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.When i went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me i didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life.

quote credit to QuekA

小小的幸福

T1(tamp1), T1(terminal 1) 傻傻分不清楚。
actually these rubbings are found in T3 la. hee:) i am so proud of my artwork. a little bit from here and there from the standard templetes and i manage to make out one related to rovers:) 厉害吧！

yay, someone more reasons to smile at home:)

:) 大便主动talk to me on msn:) 好想念。。。

:) learning to cherish the life's littlest pleasures and 小幸福

:) 别人的快乐也会让你感到快乐

:) momo懂事了

okay

the untouchables

when history is relived. this is a picture of my ah ma's old cupboard.

for the timebeing, i am using it until the new one comes.

will things really change when change occurs?

just maybe

did i tell anyone that i really love this photo? mayb it was only a pose for the camera, but somehow, i felt loved.
maybe, with the slightest chance, i am loved by someone somewhere somehow, without my ultra (over) sensitive radar detecting it.

instinct/responsibility

what does this picture urge u to do?
a) grab onto the handle. its time for housework! whee
b) eeks. so dirtyyyy
c) hold me tight, let me go.

at the end of the day,
ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE:D,(even if it hurts)
recently, my eyes hurt alot. mayb i should heed advice and see a doctor soon.
before i go blind.

YAYs:
1. majong session@ gc house(lose but no need pay money)(auntie killer me)(elders love me to death)
2. badminton with ky(sweat it)
3. giving gifts to the mothers. (felt abit guilty cuz i wanted to make picture college for each of them, but laziness got the better of me)(felt ultra guilty when they all got really excited abt planning my 21 than me)

"people might not rmb what u gave or said to them, but they always rmb how u made them feel".(cant rmb exactly but sth along this line)
this is why i always think that the card and things that u say matters much more than the gift itself.
post script: ok i realise this is contradictory, but... i still think gifts are never complete without cards with heartfelt feelings written on it. somethings are never made known unless being explicitly written down. even if it doesnt convey fully, somehow, u tried. and at least on the receiving end, its not a mere speculation. ok i talk too much.
because its not about the tangible and countable.
but the invisble and untouchables.

wallpaper

val had a fantastic bday today! yay

and so the lion fell in love with the lamb

the little pathetic <3 list i made for myself on msn
to assure me that i have people to talk to

has just backfired.

i realise im trying a little too hard to be a YES!woman.

unemotionality

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness." — Jonathan Safran Foer (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

making the world a more beautiful place

finally something good came out of the end of things.
who says there isn't free lunch in the world?
baolai and pangster would prove u wrong.
these are the people who exist only in fairytales :)
the fairy god mother and father:)))
lovelove
Gunung Ledang/Mount Ophir.
i should have soaked in more more more sunshine. gosh. all this is too fast. like JI BA BOOM, the moment technology stars working, the intermission is over. tada, presenting more drama!yay

the theme of this artwork is inspired by the clouds up in ophir.

that all is transient yet it is at that fleeting moment of bliss where one lives and dances.

afterall, what you see is not what u get.

the right most picture. what do u see? dolphines or otherwise?

trilalala, lets enchant ourselves.

the dove just dropped me a love letter telling me we need to pay the hos. a visit. again.

crux

i told myself that if i couldn't upload any more photos like the previous time i would close down the blog.

updates soon.
"one needs to die a metaphorical death before one can be born again"

the choo choo train is going a tad too fast.
although i am recharged.
do you really have to suck it out of me?

i wish i could stay in the mountains for a little longer.

picture credits to gc who gave me 5 missed calls. ( i tot u were gg to suicide, 原来only for mj. chey)

frustrated

cuz the pictures cannot be uploaded. ha

anyway, ivy and i had a nice lunch and dinner tgt today.
it feels good to feel appreciated :)
thank you for thanking me.
a few days back, qing talked abt feeling validated. today i feel validated.

anw, its really great to have frenz like that to chase the blues away.
everyday has been filled with activities, soon it will be replaced by work.
yay, busy busy busy.

things to remember:

1. everyone feels like everyone else. just not at the same time

2. people are unpredictable

3. letting go is better than maintaing control

4. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OUT OF OVERTHINKING THINGS.

till now, my hands still smell of garlic.
shoo vampire sho

612

you don't climb out of anything as quick as you fall in.